ANNOYED

Nasreddin was looking for firewood for his wife. He climbed a tree and sat on a trunk while he was sawing it. A man was passing by the street beneath the tree. He saw Nasreddin was sawing the trunk. He said, “Watch out, Nasreddin. You will fall. You shouldn’t sit on the trunk you are cutting!”

Nasreddin thought that the man was just teasing him. He answered, “Am I so foolish that I believe you! You are not a fortune-teller, how do you know my future?”

The man said, “Everybody knows that you will fall if you sit on a trunk that you are cutting.”

But Nasreddin did not believe him. And the man walked away. A moment later, Nasreddin and the trunk fell together. He soon got up and ran after the man who had told him that he would fall down.

When he was behind the man, Nasreddin said, “Great! Your prediction is really accurate. I fell down along with the trunk.”

The man stopped and turned round to see Nasreddin. When they were walking side by side, Nasreddin said, “Now, tell me when I will die?”

The man, of course, could not tell him anything about it. He was not fortune-teller. But Nasreddin urged the man to tell him about his death. Finally, the man left annoyed and said, “You will die right now.”

As the man said that he would die soon, Nasreddin fell down in the street and made no movement. The man shook his body but he did not say anything or move any inch. Then the man left him in the street. He told his friends about it.

A moment later the other neighbours came and woke him up. Because he behaved like a dead man, then they brought him to his wife. His wife knew that her husband was not dead. But, Nasreddin behaved like a dead man. His wife asked her neighbours to put him to the cemetery.

On the crossroad, they quarreled about which way they should take. One of them said that they had to go straight ahead for about 10 metres before turning right and the rest said that they should turn left.

The quarrel was getting worse. Nasreddin who was in the coffin felt very annoyed to hear the foolish quarrel. He looked out of the coffin and said, “You all are fools. When I was alive, the shortest way to the cemetery is the one that turn right.”

A DONKEY THIEF

Nasreddin went to the market. He wanted to buy a donkey there. At the market he chose the best donkey and bought it. He loved the donkey so much that he did not ride on its back when he went home. He walked and pulled his donkey behind him. He did never know that two thieves were following him.

On the way home, one of the thieves untied the donkey so carefully that Nasreddin did not know about it. As the change, the thief put the tie around his friend’s neck. And he ran away with the donkey.
When Nasreddin arrived home, he was surprised to see that his donkey changed itself into a man.

“Who are you? Where is my donkey?” asked Nasreddin to the man angrily.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” said the thief, “I was the donkey.”

“I don’t believe you. How can a donkey change itself into a man?” said Nasreddin.

“Once I hurt my mother. And then she cursed me into a donkey. And I was sold at the market by my uncle. Now I become a man again because the person that bought me is a wise and good man like you,” the thief said.

Nasreddin said to the thief, “Now, go home. Don’t hurt your mother again.”

The thief thanked Nasreddin. He went away quickly.

Several days later, Nasreddin went to the market again to buy a donkey. And Nasreddin saw his lost donkey was being sold at the market among the other donkeys with the high price. Yes, the other thief sold the donkey again. Nasreddin came to the thief who sold the donkey. He did not speak to him, but did speak to the donkey.

He said, “Hey, young man, you never listen to good advice and never learn from experience. Now, you become a donkey again. But I don’t want to buy you.”

DESTINY IS KIND OF ME

One day Nasreddin went out of town. His wife washed his coat while she was waiting for him. She finished washing it at the afternoon, but Nasreddin had not come yet. Then his wife hung the coat on a rope in the front yard. When the evening came she forgot to take the coat.

At about 7 o’clock Nasreddin came home. Because he was very tired, he went to bed soon after having dinner. At midnight he woke because he heard something outside. He peeped out to see what was going on. Suddenly he was very surprised to see a shadow on the front yard. The moon light made the shadow just like a man. Nasreddin thought that it was a thief.

He took his old rifle quickly. After he loaded it with some bullets, he aimed at the shadow carefully. A shot was heard, the shadow jerked and fell down. Nasreddin was very glad because he shot the shadow accurately. He shouted happily and so loudly that his wife woke up.

“What’s wrong?” asked his wife.

“There was a thief near the fence. He wanted to break into our house. So I took my rifle quickly and shot him. But, don’t worry, he’s dead. Now, just sleep again. Tomorrow we will bury the corpse,” Nasreddin answered. The next morning, they got up early and went to the yard. They saw neither corpse nor drops of blood there. They only found Nasreddin’s coat that was washed by his wife the day before lying on the ground.

Nasreddin took it and examined it. There was a shot hole on the coat. He showed it to his wife.

“My wife, destiny is really kind of me. Imagine if I was inside this coat, I should have died already and you must have been a widow, now,” said he sadly.

WHERE IS MY SIXTH DONKEY?

One sunny morning, Nasreddin went to the market and bought six donkeys with him. He wanted to sell them. Nasreddin felt tired and then rode one of the donkeys.

A moment later he wanted to make sure that he did not lose any of the donkeys. Sitting on the back of his donkey. Nasreddin counted his donkeys but skipping the one he was riding on. So, he was confused because there were only five donkeys left, while he brought six donkeys from his house.

He got down from his donkey and started to count again. He was very glad at that time because the donkeys were six. He rode one of them again. Five minutes later he started counting the donkeys again. And he was confused again because he only got five donkeys.

Coincidentally one of his friend came and asked him, “Why do you look very confused, Nasreddin?”

Nasreddin answered, “Yes, I’m very confused. This morning I left my house and brought six donkeys with me. Because I was tired I rode on one of them. I counted my donkeys. There were only five donkeys. Then I got down from my donkey. I counted again and there were six donkeys. I was wondering and also glad because my lost donkey was back. Then I rode on one of them again. Now, I count them again and there are only five donkeys left”

His friend said, “There are six donkeys here.”
“No, there are only five, Let me count again, one, two, three, four, and five. There are only five!” Nasreddin answered.

“Yes, you just counted five donkeys, and you are riding on the other one and you didn’t count it. So there are six donkeys,” his friend explained.

SORRY, I’M WRONG

One evening Nasreddin attended a party in his town. The party ended at 10 o’clock at night. It was a long distance from the place where the party was held to Nasreddin’s house. If Nasreddin took the usual street, he would have come home very late. So, Nasreddin took a shortcut through a cemetery.

When he was in the middle of the cemetery, he saw a group of people riding horses toward him. Nasreddin thought that they were robbers who just started their robbery. As he was afraid of them, he ran and hid in a newly dug grave. The grave would be used to bury a corpse the next morning.

The group of horsemen saw a head stuck out from a grave. They were curious and stopped beside the grave.

“How are you?” said one of them.

Nasreddin turned round to see the men. He answered, “Don’t worry, I’m one of the dead bodies buried here.”

“Can a dead body wake up at night?” asked the man again.

“Yes,”

“What for?”

“To get fresh air,” Nasreddin answered.

Then men laughed together. One of them said, “Do dead men need air?”

“Yes, you are right. Sorry, I’m wrong,” Nasreddin answered. He lay down again in the grave.

TAKING A WALK

Nasreddin looked gloomy and weak. His wife said, “Why don’t you take a walk to get fresh air? It will make you better”

Nasreddin did what his wife suggested him. He took a walk. But he still kept on walking even though he had been walking for more than two days. One of his neighbour met hem and asked him, “Why don’t you go home? I think you have been walking for two days, Nasreddin.”

“Would you help me?” said Nasreddin.

“Sure,” answered the neighbour.

“Ask my wife how far I should take a walk to get better,” said Nasreddin. ‘I have been very exhausted.”

Meanwhile Nasreddin kept on walking. The sun started in the middle of the street. He approached it and picked it up. It was a mirror. He examined it closely. He was curious why the owner discarded it. As a matter of fact, it was still good.

Then he looked into the mirror, he saw a face on the mirror. Of course, it was his own face but he did not think so. Suddenly he looked sad and disappointed.

He said, “This is a bad mirror. That is the reason why the owner discarded it here.”

Then he threw the mirror back to the street, and he walked away.

It was almost midday. He was very thirsty. A moment later he looked glad as he saw a water pipe across the street. He walked there. He found that the end of the pipe was closed with a piece of wood. Because he could not help being thirsty, he placed his open mouth in front of the end of the pipe and pulled the wood. The stream of the water inside was very strong. When Nasreddin opened it, the water sprayed toward his face so strongly that he fell backward. Then he put the wood back to the end of the pipe quickly.

“Oh, now I know why they closed you with the wood. Because you always hit every man very strongly so that they had to close you with the wood. Yeah, you never learn from experience,” Nasreddin said and walked away.

DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE

Nasreddin was working for a rich man. One day his master called him and said, “Nasreddin, come on in”.

Nasreddin came in and sat in a chair. His master said further, “You are a very good man. But it’s a pity that you are so slow in doing anything. You never do something at once. If I, for example, ask you to buy three eggs, you will go to the shop and go home with one egg. Then you go for the second egg and so forth”.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I’m a fool. I won’t the same thing again in the future. I’ll do everything at once.

Several days later, his master was sick. Nasreddin was asked to get a doctor.

When he came back, his master was surprised because he did not only get a doctor, but also many other men. He brought all into his master’s bedroom.

“Excuse me, Sir. I got them already”, he said.

“Got them? Who are they? I just asked you to get a doctor”, asked his master.

Then Nasreddin explained, “Excuse me, Sir. A doctor usually gives us a prescription. Here I get a medicine man who will make the medicine prescribed for you. And the medicine man, of course, will make the medicine from roots of plants. Here I get someone who sells the ingredients for such medicine. I also get a coal seller, because usually we boil the medicine first. And it needs coal.”

“Who is the last?” said the master. He saw one more person in the room that had not been introduced yet.

“There is also a possibility that the doctor cannot help us. You may die. So I get a grave digger. Sir, I do it at once”.